ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Are we still banned from the library?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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