There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
