u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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