dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
