just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
