so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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