so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
