the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
