I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
