When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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