And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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