I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
