1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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