He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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