Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
