Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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