oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
