First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
