Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
