he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
