do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
