We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
