There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
