I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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