After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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