And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
