btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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