You're my little dorito
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
