i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
