he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
