I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
