I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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