But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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