btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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