Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wish i was in the wii world.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
