your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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