Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
