from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
