end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
