cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it's like heaven, but drunker
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
