I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
