I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
