ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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