I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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