i jhust puked up my retainher.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
