It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
