just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
