HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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