Define "chronic" masturbator.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
