Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
