he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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