Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
